I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
