thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize