Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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