I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
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