Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
