It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
