Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i just google imaged poop.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
