Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
