Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
