Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize