i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
She bit a glass in half.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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