The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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