I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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