How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
The struggles of a small town man whore
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
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