I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Randomize
