i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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