Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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