Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
A+ Viking dick
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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