My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
