wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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