Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize
