You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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