Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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