How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Randomize
