dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
