last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
