But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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