i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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