Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
