Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
