Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
