the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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