just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
