The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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