I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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