then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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