There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
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