Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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