My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
