it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
