i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
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last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
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This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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