I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
