This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
