bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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