Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Four minutes until I can fart!
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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