At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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