Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Don't make out with my wife yet
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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