plz talk dirty to me
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
