I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
