I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
