I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
