Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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