Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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