I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
