Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
