I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
