yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Randomize
