We named our party play list daddy issues
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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