Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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