So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
