How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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